The year that was...

Of all the things and people i lost here....

I will miss my mind the most

This year a lot changed inside me a lot that i never knew existed was lost awa in the sand dunes of times and circumstances. I say a world changing infront of my eye, a world as it never was, a world as it never will be... Boys became men, men went on to become boys again...time stoped (or was it lost ???/) life stoped even love stoped.

Dreams were lost and squandered,Dreams were refounded and bloosemed,some lost all they ever wanted and some won all they never knew they wanted...I stood around everything watching and thnking were this stupid life is growing. Things changed the way they never had,they way they never would,One day u knew where u were going and the very next day u never even knew what were u doing.People came people saw and people left....That became the epitach of the year gone by...A postscript to all that never was or will never be. I lost all that i came with and in turn got all that was never rightfully my own. Somewhere down the line i lost control,objectivism and above all proffesionalism. This was no more about a career it became life or should i say sumthing like it.

The ideosynacricies of a stupid Mind...

Sometimes i pity my stupidity and then i repeat them again and again.I go around thinking thn i control my world...I AM A GIANT but actually neither do i hv the control nor i am a GIANT...Maybe its the self Image iam in more love with rather than the truth.I need to correct my mistakes,learn from them and try not to repeat them later.

The Stupidity we do......

I seldom realize my stupidities in life.....Its just that when i do realize what is it that i do,I feel so embarased and disgusted.Why do i always end up like this??? Why do i always do the same mistakes again and again......I may have the questions bt the answers are hard to comprehend.In our trying to build relationships we actually end up killing ourselves,how can i teach sumone how to live life??? We can never teach a person anything ,they do things on there own silly convenience. People have there conveniences and Priorities,they see life not through the eyes of a human but through the prism of convenience.I never understand why do people malign the names of other people??? What fun do they get by making fun of others??? Why do they use people to make them dependent upon oneself ???
Someday i want to realize why people break relations just because they get irritated by others.I never understood why someone would break a relation to make another one....I also want to understand why do people let others slave them and make them there pets....People make relationships,break relationships,make new relationship.break old relationships.depend upon relationships,cry over relationships,get enslaved by relationship,Are used by relationships......And then they again make Relationships.The irony of life is relationships,we never learn to live without them and we do learn with them.....
Sometimes i wonder if people are really the way they are or are they what they can never show.People cheat, caress , cry, shout and laugh but in the end they only do wht hurts u the most...When u let someone enter ur heart u not only allow him a space in ur heart but u also give him the power to hurt u where it hurts the most...
Why do we allow people a space in our heart...???/
Who gives thm the power to hurt....???/
Who gives them a right to fool around us.....???/

I never was able to understand Myself,bt nw i guess i cant even make others understand myself...Maybe its the others who dont understand themselves leave alone understand me. Someday i may foget the hurt but i know i will never be able to forgive the pain that the hurt caused deep inside...Imay never remain the same but i will always wonder are people any happier or any more satisfied then iam today...

ATTITUDE OF SILENCE....

Silence ....is a never ending struggle do know where we are going.It is a never ending wait of where we will be. Sometime we feel we know the people around us and sometimes we realize that we even dont know ourself. My father once told me it is not the moments that we live for but then again it is the moments which we all finally remember...

PERSONAL JOURNAL...

Today i realized tht howsoever intelligent we may thinkourselves to be.....We really are FOOLS... EMOTIONAL FOOLS, I know where i am going and who the person is....But still i keep going in search of my FOOLS PARADISE.....

Why do we loose the courage to oppose what is wrong??? Why do we get fooled by sheepish wimpers and sweet charms??? Why do people shortchange us and we still dont find the strength to tell them Who we are.....

I have been stupid many times before in my life but this must be THE STUPIDEST i have ever done.....Where does this leads me to,I just dont have a clue...

...Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous...Maybe i need to search more!!!

PERSONAL JOURNAL...

Somedays the sunsets on you,Somedays u set out the moon...Somedays u grow up in a windfall while on other days u grow old with desperation...

My days are always filled of oblivision and hope,Not for the days gone bye but for the days going to come...Today i hv questions,i hope someday i will hv the answers too...

Waiting for my answers....